This morning as I listened to L'maancha by Eitan Katz I was reminded of my love for G-d. When I first feel in love with G-d and how I wanted to know more about Him. I desired to know of His ways, His attributes, and how I could love Him more and please Him.
Growing up in America where the Nation religion is based on belief in Jesus I would pray for HaShem to allow me the opportunity to go to school and later college to learn of Him, yet in all those years within the church it was not to be. Now, I look back and I understand why it was not to be. I prayed and asked for wisdom and truth in following Him. I have learned more in this past year in Torah study than I ever learned in 30 years in a church. My eyes have been opened, truths have been revealed. Some were hard to accept, some made me angry, some I wanted to reject as heresy, but once my emotions sorted through what I learned I took time to dissect what I had learned and examine it. It caused me to also dissect and examine what I had learned about Christianity and only one stood the test: the Torah. For years I had felt like G-d had ignored me or I was not worthy to have the privilege to go to a Christian college, now I understand and realize He had not ignored my prayers, He was listening all the time, it was not my time. I was not to be learn doctrine that was contrary to Him. I was not to embrace a doctrine of idol worship or a man. My time is now, my time started last summer with one small step, a step of inquiry. Since that time my heart has begun beating, my mind has been open to a flood gate of truth and understanding. It was this time now that G-d foresaw He would be answering my prayer, it was I who was impatient feeling I was forgotten when all along my time was just down my path, but I couldn't see it yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment