Where Do I Go From Here?

Deciding what to do and where to go is always a dilemma. I am contemplating applying for a job, but I am also not so sure I want to do that at this time. It would mean I would probably have to quit going to school because I already know I would not have enough time to work, keep up with the household, assist Mylei with homework, and find the time to do my own school work. It puts me in a bit of a quandary. It may be our only chance to relocate as it seems entirely hopeless that my husband will ever be called for a job, and in these bad times, women get hired over men. I just know that once I begin working, I will never be able to quit and I just hated working so late and never spending any time with my family.

Since it seems to only take about 48 hours for hubby to get his thanks but no thanks on almost every job he applies for it seems a bit discouraging in advancing forward, but I also know that HaShem may put us to the test to see how much of an effort we will put forth to accomplish our conversion. Sure we could do it right now by just saying the word and move into Houston, but I do not want to live in Houston for so many reasons, but the horrible high crime and outrageous housing prices keep me from doing so, after all, I cannot even afford to live in the required Eruv.

As we search the Orthodox Union for synagogues we look at the area for affordability to live in the Eruv, with also a job market, a safe and family friendly area with outdoor activities we can all enjoy. We finally found an area we feel fits those requirements that would be a best fit for our family, but the Rabbi just moved to another location, so finding out about conversion may now be a problem and the quick rejection of employment applications isn't helpful either.

Is this a closed door or a door we are to pursue to see how much we really want to convert?

Time to Move

As I ponder our conversion to Judaism, I struggle with where do we move and will the Rabbi be willing to assist us to covert. I really struggle with making the move to Houston for a couple of reasons.  Yes, we know the Rabbi will do our conversion there, but the area is so crime ridden and expensive that I know as soon as my conversion is complete I would move away. I feel that this defeats the entire purpose since I want to also become a part of the community and I have disliked Houston since we moved there 5 years ago, this is why we bought our home so far away from the city. I didn't want to feel like a prisoner in my home, fearful to go outside of being robbed or killed.

Since conversion is our goal I have been surfing all the Shul's from the Orthodox Union website and looking at the demographics of each location. Is it safe, what is the crime rate, how large is the city, can we afford to live in the city, can we afford to buy a home, do I see myself living there and settling for the rest of my life even though I could potentially be thousands of miles from all of my children.

Visiting My Parents

After arriving to my parents home for my yearly visit to check on them and assist them how I can while I am here I had hoped over the past year they may have seen some of my posting on Facebook. I was prepared for the question's, but after the first two days here I realized they had not seen anything I had posted and my parents eat many non-kosher foods.

Finally, I took the opportunity to ease the conversation to my mother that I have a change faith and it did not start out very well, she blew her top and finally calmed downed after about 15 minutes and then agreed not to talk about it with me.

Eating with them has been a huge challenge since my mother has always been a fan of pork, one of the foods I never really liked even before we began eating Kosher. Mylei has been pointing out their diet to them as not kosher and it has set my mother off, so I had to inform her not to tell her grand-parents what not to eat.  I could see if we lived close by could be some issues in the future, especially around holidays, since we have not even discussed anything further, I do not think she realizes we will not be celebrating these pagan holiday's any longer. Living three states is to our advantage that she isn't right there to know we will not be celebrating those holidays.

Room for thought of what we may encounter later if one of my parent's passes and the other must come and live with us.